The Cake Is a ___: Can You Fill In the Blank on These “Portal” Quotes?


By: Talin Vartanian

6 Min Quiz

Image: Valve

About This Quiz

One of the things that makes the "Portal" game series so memorable is the funny one-liners and comments by the characters. Granted, there are only a few characters who actually speak, and the main protagonist, Chell, is not one of them. Most of the dialogue is actually conducted by GLaDOS (the main antagonist), and in "Portal 2," characters like Cave Johnson (founder of Aperture Science) and Wheatley (the sidekick) also make an appearance. Even some of the turrets have some great one-liners as well, like "I'm on fire," "Excuse me, you're squishing me" and "Sleep mode activated." But perhaps the most famous quote is "The cake is a _________." Unsure of what goes in this blank? Well, get your portal device and your thinking cap ready, because this gaming quiz will test your knowledge on some pretty memorable "Portal" quotes!

"Portal" was created by Valve and features unique puzzles, hilarious dialogue and a backstory that remains a mystery to this day. The company Valve is also known for hits like "Left 4 Dead," "Half-Life" and "Team Fortress." But when it comes to "Portal," players are treated to a science-based world that is both exciting and haunting. Put your "Portal" knowledge to the test!

Fill in these two blanks: "Very good! You are now in possession of the Aperture Science Handheld ____________ ___________."

One of the first things that Chell obtains in the "Portal" games is none other than the portal device. She uses it to solve puzzles and get closer to the real enemy of the game: GlaDOS.


Can you remember what GLaDOS said here? "We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a __________ one."

The enemy GLaDOS is known for her heavily sarcastic remarks and long-winded responses, so when she's hoping that your "brief detention has been a pleasant one," she really doesn't mean it.


How about this one? "Good job! As part of a required test protocol, we will stop enhancing the _______ in three, two ..."

Once again, GLaDOS is up to no good with her sarcastic remarks and responses, this time by saying that she's been "enhancing the truth" to Chell. This occurs in some of the early test chambers.


What does GLaDOS promise you here? "Quit now and _________ will be served immediately."

GLaDOS wholeheartedly believes that she can tempt Chell with cake and encourages her to quit through most of the puzzles. But did you know that you're able to find the cake in the first Portal game?


Can you fill this blank in? "Cake and ________ counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test."

How nice of GLaDOS to offer you grief counseling, right? Wrong, because she's a sadistic type of machine who won't actually offer you cake or counseling, even though Chell probably needs it.


Can you fill in this sad quote? "However, it cannot accompany you for the rest of the test and, unfortunately, must be ___________."

During the 17th test chamber, GLaDOS forces Chell to destroy the weighted companion cube, which accompanied her on quite a few tests as both a helpful aid and as a potential "friend."


Guess what GLaDOS is saying here? "In the event that the weighted companion cube does ________, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice."

Although the weighted companion cube doesn't speak in the game, there's an underlying message to what GLaDOS is saying here. Is she actually worried that it may talk, and if so, what does that say about the cube itself?


What's the missing word here? "Very very good. A complimentary victory ________ has been activated in the main chamber."

We should probably thank GLaDOS for giving us a lift ... to the next test chamber. But regardless, it's a reward for your efforts against this evil machine (maybe she does have a soft spot after all)?


How about this one? "Through no fault of the Enrichment Center, you have managed to _________ yourself in this room."

GLaDOS is making fun of Chell here during one of the test chambers, essentially calling out her lack of intellect. We all know Chell isn't dumb, because she (well, you, the player!) manages to solve GLaDOS' most diabolical puzzles.


How will GLaDOS annoy you today? "The Enrichment Center once again reminds you that android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of __________."

Another word for "defiance" is "resistance." So essentially, GLaDOS is saying that if you refuse to participate in the tests or rebel in any sort of way, then you're apparently going to "android hell."


How will GLaDOS murder Chell in this quote? "Congratulations. The test is now over. All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to ________ degrees Kelvin."

GLaDOS says this line during the end of test chamber 19, right before she attempts to kill Chell via a fire pit. Maybe you'll be destroyed in 4000 Kelvin temperatures, but at least the Aperture devices will be unharmed.


What is Wheatley trying to say here? "Just say '________'. Classic. Very simple."

Wheatley's introduction in "Portal 2" is basically iconic. For those of us who played the first game, it was jarring but also a lot of fun to meet a character who talked to Chell and didn't seem to wish her imminent harm.


What's Wheatley so afraid of here? "They told me NEVER NEVER NEVER to disengage myself from my ____________ rail."

Wheatley is attached to something called a management rail, which he's supposed to stay on to for dear life (literally). But luckily, after he releases himself from it, he seems to be alive and unharmed.


What are those annoying turrets saying here? "I'm on fire, ________."

When Chell uses her thermal discouragement beam on turrets, they'll reply with several phrases like "This is not good" and "You've made your point." One of the other ones is "I'm on fire, owww."


When a turret sees another turret die, it sometimes says, "You have excellent _________."

Sometimes turrets feel sad about their friends dying, but other times, they seem to praise Chell for her efforts. In this context, a turret is complimenting Chell's aim for firing at another turret.


Can you guess what Wheatley is rambling about here? "Ah. I tell ya. _________. Love 'em. Just ... the way they look is great."

Wheatley tends to talk a lot in "Portal 2," and one of the things he rambles about is humans. He actually goes on to say "And their ... folklore. Wonderful, very colorful ..."


Who is this fund really for? "Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science Self-Esteem Fund for ________? It's true!"

We don't know if GLaDOS is telling the truth when talking about this "Aperture Science Self-Esteem Fund for Girls," but one thing's for sure: Chell is here to escape into the real world, not donate her organs.


What kind of salve are we talking abut here? "If you become light-headed from thirst, feel free to pass out. An intubation associate will be dispatched to revive you with _________ salve and adrenaline."

Who knows if peptic salve and adrenaline is even available at Aperture Science, but it's nice to know that GLaDOS still cares for your well-being (in the most sarcastic way possible).


Can you fill in this test chamber #8 quote? "Please note that any appearance of _________ is merely a device to enhance your testing experience."

GLaDOS is talking about "danger" here, and she means it. As in, she's not really using this element for any lab tests but purely to watch Chell suffer.


What's Wheatley up to now? "Baking soda __________. Well, at least it's not a potato battery; I'll give it that."

There's a section in the game that explores the "Bring Your Daughter to Work Day" aspect that "did not end well," according to Wheatley. And one of the science projects was none other than a baking-soda volcano.


What kind of generator is this? "This is the ____________ generator. Bit bigger than I expected."

Wheatley is talking about the neurotoxin generator in "Portal 2." After you reach it, he also says "Not going to be able to just, you know, push it over. Have to apply some cleverness."


Can you fill in the blank of this "Still Alive" song? "For the good of all of us, except the ones who are _________."

The song "Still Alive" plays in the credits at the end of the first "Portal" game, and the word in the blank is "dead." Other memorable lines in the song are "Go ahead and leave me" and "I think I prefer to stay inside." Good luck getting it out of your head!


What's the missing word in Doug Rattmann's graffiti quote? "An _______ visited this grey path and took the cube away."

The full quote is as follows: "Not in cruelty, not in wrath, The Reaper came today, An angel visited this gray path, And took the cube away." Doug was one of the scientists at Aperture.


How is GLaDOS delusional in this quote? "The difference between us is that I can feel __________. You don't even care. Do you?"

Once again, GLaDOS messes with Chell's mind by saying that she (as a machine) can feel pain, but then gets annoyed when Chell doesn't listen to her. This aggravates GLaDOS because she has nobody else to torment.


Why is GLaDOS so angry here? "I've been really busy being dead. You know, after you ____________ ME."

GLaDOS has some hard feelings between her and Chell after the first game. The sadistic machine also uses the word "murdered" during her reawakening and doesn't seem to understand why Chell would do such a thing.


How is GLaDOS trying to kill Chell today? "Which involves deadly ________ and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly _________."

The evil GLaDOS is once again trying to scare Chell, but this time with potentially deadly lasers. This occurs during "The Cold Boot" chapter of "Portal 2" in the first testing chamber.


What are the turrets scared of in this quote? "I'm afraid of __________."

When you use your portal device to launch a turret, it will sometimes say "I'm afraid of heights." It may also yell "See you soon," "I'm flying," "Glorious freedom" and "Wheeeeeee."


What's Wheatley saying to GLaDOS here? "What's wrong with being adopted? Um, well. Um, lack of __________, for one."

During "Portal 2," GLaDOS actually has a change of heart and fights on your side against the evil Wheatley. Who knows if Chell is actually adopted or not, but according to Wheatley, this means that she has a "lack of parents."


What was Cave Johnson referring to here? "All right, let's get started. This first test involves something the lab boys call '____________ gel.'"

Cave Johnson founded Aperture Science, and he gives many insightful clues toward the history of this lab. He also talks about different kinds of gel substances in the game, and one of them is called repulsion gel.


Why was Cave Johnson so ill? "And guess what? Ground up ________ rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill."

Cave Johnson was the kind of man who did whatever he pleased, all in the name of science. And in this case, he bought a lot of moon rocks to make a gel substance, but apparently, he got pretty sick from it.


What was Cave Johnson talking about here? "If you've cut yourself at all in the course of these tests, you might have noticed that your blood is pure ___________."

Apparently, Mr. Johnson is talking about gasoline here. Then he says, "That's normal. We've been shooting you with an invisible laser that's supposed to turn blood into gasoline, so all that means is it's working."


What's the missing word in this quote? "For a little ________ built specifically to come up with stupid, unworkable plans, that was a pretty well-laid trap."

GLaDOS is referring to Wheatley as a "little idiot" ever since he decided to go the evil route. But despite his traps, Chell and GLaDOS still manage to work together to defeat him.


Why is GLaDOS becoming sentimental? "Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my _________."

GLaDOS claims that Chell broke her heart because in the first game, she defeats her (almost). And ever since then, GLaDOS has been giving off many passive-aggressive comments.


What does GLaDOS become in "Portal 2"? "How are you holding up? Because I'm a _________."

GLaDOS famously becomes a potato in "Portal 2," sparking many hilarious comments and one-liners. And funnily enough, once she becomes powerless as a potato, she acts like a good friend to Chell.


What is GLaDOS babbling about now? "_________ is not science!"

The full quote by GLaDOS is "dancing is not science." This occurs in the multiplayer version of "Portal 2," where you are able to do a little dance in front of your partner (which GLaDOS absolutely hates).


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